No Control And A Smidgeon of Faith

Dang. I haven’t written an entry in almost a month? Where did the time go?

I’d like to say I’ve been busy. I suppose in many ways I have, but I’ve also wasted a lot of time, too.

Mostly I haven’t written an entry, because my mind has been focused on polishing three manuscripts, and preparing “one-sheets” (basically a back-cover blurb of a manuscript with an author’s bio and other information). To my surprise, I’m done with them all. Not that I expected not to finish, but that I would finish with more than a week to spare before I head to the ACFW conference in Nashville. As good as I am at procrastinating, I shouldn’t be done this early. Now I don’t know what to do with myself.

I know what I should do: Write a few short stories and see if there are magazines that will take them. That’ll take research, and a lot of reading. Not a bad way to spend my time versus getting all anxious for the conference.

I have an appointment with a publisher and a literary agent to pitch my novels to. On the one hand, I’m hopeful, but on the other, I’m not. I’ve pitched before with no results, so if history is my guide, my chances of making a positive impression are low. I’m trying to convince myself that I’m going for the comradery of other writers — struggling in many of the same ways I am — and to attend classes to learn more about writing, marketing, etc. Plus I get to spend five days in an upscale hotel built next to the Country Music Hall of Fame (not a huge fan of country music, but I’ll still find it interesting if I have the time to see it). If I gain interest in my novels, all the better. I’ve gone to other conferences with the hope of a sale as my main reason of going, and ended up a few tears short of devastation. I’m not going to do that to myself again.

The last time I went to a conference (back in 2010), I wrote an entry at the end of every day to keep everyone updated, and so I won’t forget. I am, after all, getting a bit up there in age. I don’t remember things as well as I used to. I may do the same again.

My biggest worry is taking the plane. It’s not that I fear flying. I actually enjoy it (although I hate going through security), but my biggest pet-peeve is being late. For anything. Few things get me angry, but being late is near the top of the list. I am placing my trust in an airline and two planes to get me to the conference on time (I am going a day early, just in case, but one still never knows). I don’t like having to relinquish control like that. But I either fly, or drive cross-country for two days one way by myself. My flight is also with Delta, and in case you don’t know, they had severe flight issues last week that resulted in hundreds of delays and cancellations. That it’ll happen again next week worries me some.

Then again!

Back in 2010 I set a “fleece before the Lord,” which means I asked for a specific sign for a specific question I needed an answer to. My son was two at the time, and I was really happy and content with my life. I was writing little with the exception of my blog, and I was okay with that.

I started to wonder if God wanted me to pursue publishing my books, or if I should continue to live my life as it was, writing only as a hobby.

At that time, I had just purchased an annual membership to ACFW, and I received an email describing their Genesis Contest. Contestants submit the first fifteen pages of their manuscript along with a short synopsis. It then goes through a few rounds, and winners are revealed at the annual conference.

I told God that I would submit my novel, and that if I made the finals, I would know he wanted me to continue. As most of you know, I not only made the finals, but I won in my chosen category.

Do I think God is leading me to this conference? Perhaps, but perhaps not. Even so, whatever happens, I need to trust that God is in control. If there are issues with my flights, so be it. If not, even better. Worse case, I’ll have to cancel everything, and hopefully get some of my money back after paying all my late cancellation fees.

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